Thursday, February 26, 2009

Peace out Colorado

Herman Gulch Snow Shoeing
(Where's Ryan?)
Zoomed in on the mountains from from one summit to the other
Ryan and I after our trecherous hike to the top! (31/2 hours up- 12000 ft)
Trying my best to make a Snow Angel at the top - but the snow was hard on top
snowshoes make it hard, too
Well, I have news, Sisters! Thats right! Im coming home to AR at the end of March!! Its been a work in progress, but its pretty much finalized. My oldest sister Jan called me one day and asked if I would consider moving back to watch Taylor a few times a week. Though I love this place with all my heart, it didn't take much convincing on her part to make me start preparing to head home. Things just clicked. Its been some of the best and the worst 6 months of my life. haha I've seen and done more than I ever dreamed I would before I came. 
I've hiked my share of mountains, shopped in a plethera of hippie stores, seen monster truck rallys, shared a coffee or 10 downtown, rode the train, met some interesting people on my plane rides to and from Arkansas to Denver (long stories), been snowed in overnight, alone in the Atlanta airport (kinda cool), hiked a 14er, snowshoed and un-snowshoed, actually seen/felt the temperature drop to -16, made lots of snow angels, shared a 3 bedroom apartment with 5 people, gotten to stay in picturesque downtown mountain villages with friends who came to visit, road tripped from AR to CO and then back again, witnessed my car falling off the tow dolly (poor granny still has some fatal wounds), been shocked and awed by the grandeur and beauty of the mountains outside my window, cried my eyes out every single time i talked to Mom (she's the best! - haha Poor thing!), never been so stressed, worn out and alone in my life (made me a little tougher, i'd like to think), i've battled the mind and will of a spirited 3 year old (thought I might lose MY mind a few times), spent hours at parks, watching Diego and Dora the Explorer, and making up to 5-6 pb&j's a day, molding play-dough, wiping tears, giving timeouts and being filled with joy when i hear Topher say "Nik, I love you!",  jammed at loads of awesome concerts (Katie Hertzig, Griffin House, tons of random local bands, Facing Sunday, Matt Wertz, and I was looking forward to Ten out of Tenn...*sniff* , saw some friends on tour (Green River Ordinance - but it on iTunes today!), missed a concert or two because I waited to get tickets (still sad about City & Colour), got asked out by a guy at Marshalls clothing store (haha), read all 4 Twilight books (ok ok -I still have like 100 more pages, then i'll be done!) bought a bed for the first time, cooked homemade spaghetti, apple butter and some other random things, gained a ton of weight, cut my own bangs really horribly, cut a sleeping childs hair, - actually cut every persons hair in this house (minus ryan), been to heights and depths emotionally and physically that i've never been to before, and just lived. 

I know that is a lot to read, i don't expect anyone to get through that one (but bravo if you did!) - its just fun to realize how much I really have accomplished and experienced...And thats only touching the tip of the iceburg. I have learned and grown so much; through frustrating times of not finding a job, and being crammed into a tiny apartment with too many people and too many opinions, and just having life test my limits in a lot of areas that haven't been tested much before. I hope my character is stronger from all of this. I know i'll never regret coming. And for now, I am just looking forward to enjoying each day I have left here with great hope and anticipation for the future!  

Speaking of - i'll be looking for jobs when i get back, because i'll only be watching Taylor 2 days a week - so if anyone knows of ANYTHING, or can guide me in a direction, OR to a person who may need someone- please let me know!! I will be forever grateful! :) 

I love you guys - miss you all and can't wait to see you! (Suzan - i'll be home when Brian is and we are planning on a KF ambush around that time!) - lets make a plan! Brian doesn't mind getting kicked out of KF, but I do! haha
Peace out Colorado!
MUAH - much love

It hasn't been the easiest 6 months of my life - but its definitely been nothing short of an adventure and some good life expriences! 

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

<3 My Funny Valentine <3

Ok - so i meant to put these pics at the bottom, but anyways.. 
This is my friend Joshua Wilkerson from the band Green River Ordinance. They came to Arkadelphia a few years ago and I met him there. They came to Denver the day after V-day and played a concert. They were the best band of the night - the rest were just odd. And Ryan and I were pretty much the only two "fans" there. It was really funny! But we had a good time.
Ryan and I in between concerts. 
The next band was REALLY strange. They had a clarinet, a bass, a snare drum, and a guitar player whose pants were about 4 inches too short. lol And there were literally 6 of us in the audience... we couldnt walk out. It was a priceless concert.
This is the bracelet Toph bought me for Vaentines day. 
Im no buddhist, but i like what the tag says
 - i could use a little of this luck in my life. 

My Valentine :) 
yea, these were the cookies we made together. lol - the accidentally melted into one big cookie that we decorated together.

He is a cutie!
These are the Tulips he gave me for Valentines - my my heart melt!
Aren't they beautiful!! Tulips are my favorite.

I must say, this was one of the best valentines ever. Topher was the best date a girl could ask for. He surprised me with my favorite flower, without even knowing. He got me jewelry (and a little hope.) haha And then we made cookies together. He smiled and laughed all night. I had gotten him a balloon that says "I Love You" and a Diego paddle ball and some ring pops. All night randomly he would tell me it was the best present he had ever gotten! (and this kid has a LOT of toys!) haha He double fisted the ring pops and is still playing with the balloon! 
That night we had a "slumber party" cause I had to babysit him over night. As we lay in bed, we told each other jokes and stories and then randomly he would stop,  and be quiet. Then all of a sudden he would turn to me and say "Nik, I love you! Im sorry I didn't behave." haha (he gets timeouts when he misbehaves). It warmed my heart that a 3 year old would say something like that. I assured him it was ok, and that I loved him too. Then a little while later he says "Nik, Thank you SO much for my ballon, and toy and ring pops!!" I couldn't believe it! He was so thankful for the smallest gift. My heart was full! He grabbed my hand and kissed it!! HAHA! It was the cutest thing i've ever had happen to me! And by a 3 year old of all people!

So needless to say, I felt SO loved on Valentines day. I probably won't have one to top that for a LONG, long time ... if ever. It was perfect!

Love you guys!

Monday, February 9, 2009

Monster Jaaaams!!

Last weekend my friend Mike and I wanted to hang out, but we didn't have anything to do. Until Mike looked up the Pepsi Center and found out that the Monster Jams truck rally was in town!! lol Now, i've never been one to do much redneck stuff, but I was not about to pass up such an opportunity. We assumed we could buy tickets at the show, but when we got there it was SOLD OUT! lol We ended up buying shady tickets from a guy on the street that miraculously got us in. We had the sweetest seats ever! Like 8 rows up and it was the most fun night ever! Here are some of the pics... including the most ridiculously sweet mullet i've ever seen, and one decked out redneck Monster Mutt fan! ;) 

El Toro Loco rampin the cars
Major Monster Mutt Fan - wow.
Hands down, sweetest mullet on earth. 3 haircuts in 1. 
The set up
Donkey Kong and Monster Mutt racing
Mike and I - not the best pic of me, but the only one of us that night. 

Thursday, February 5, 2009

For kicks

I feel like writing something today, but i don't know what...
So to start out -im going to put a clip up of some of my fav musicians, -10 out of Tenn-  who are coming to CO in April. Its a few artists from Tennessee traveling together and singing each others songs. I want to be a part of their group... if only i knew how to play an instrument or sing....*dreams*

Tyler James - my dream man.

I feel like i have so many little things flying around in my head, sending butterflies into my stomach, and scattering my thoughts out like a kaleidascope - just fragments of emotions and frustrations and interests and dreams and goals. And yet, i feel so... helpless with them all. 
Im told if you write down your goals, they'll be more likely to happen.
But i can't tell you how many journals are filled with pages of goals and dreams and lists of pros and cons. And at the end of everyday i wonder what im doing with my life... 
Yea, i am loving being here in Colorado, and getting to wake up late and not have a job to really go to.  I love this "gap" year, and for the rest of my life, i won't regret taking it... but what really gets under my skin is that i can't FULLY enjoy it, because im so worried about what im going to do next. .. about wasting time, and about not being fully independent. It bothers me. 
Mostly, im bothered that my decisions don't make me fully happy. I want independence, but im sad because im alone. 
I want to take a year off, but im worried about wasting time.
I want to do something different, move states, but i've been here for 5 months and am still "nannying", with no prospects of a "real" job. 
I don't know if i should stay or move and if i move, will i be happy? and will i be able to live on my own, or will i be stuck living in the room down the hall from my parents? (love the rents, but im getting a little old for that... if you know what i mean..)

I don't aspire to be some great scientist or doctor or a nobel peace prize winner. I just want peace in my own heart, with my own life. And most of all, i want to share it with someone. I realized that being alone is lonely. Sounds obvious, right? Well, its a whole nother reality when you actually live it and find out. But not to put a damper on things - cause a lot of me IS happy. I just feel like my life is in fragments right now, and im just ready for a piece or two to link up and give me some direction and motivation. 
Its not that i expect all of life to come together in perfect unison and for all the stars to align and my life be complete. Thats something I will always be striving for, and what makes life interesting. I would be bored if it was all together. But im just asking God for ONE or TWO things to work out in a certain direction. 

Anywho - enough of the pity party - its upward and onward!! And lots of good music to listen to while i continue my quest!! 


Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Its Cold walk to Hells Hole

So this is the hike Ryan and I decided to do last weekend! He found it and read that it was a good "snowshoeing trail". But instead of renting showshoes like normal people, we trecked it out in just plain ol un-waterproofed hiking shoes! haha- we are dumb. It was so cold i was frozen almost the whole time - all 10 toes were at one point, i am sure, on the verge of frostbite. I couldn't feel any of them. We were above our knees in snow towards the top and i didn't get any pics of that because i was too concerned about surviving. haha - but here are some pics of just how beautiful it was! The carvings on the trees lined the trail for most of the way and were the sweetest things. 
I love that this sign says: Mandatory: Shovel, Axe and Bucket. ??? like anyone could hike with that?! 
Just a glimpse of the beauty of hiking in the snowy woods

There were definitely bullet holes in this sign. Kinda weird. haha

We ended up stopping here and turning around after 2 1/2 hours of uphill hiking. I was exhausted and frozen solid! But it was worth the view!
We had to ice skate part of the trail! haha
Man, i love Colorado. But i am missing my family. Love you guys!