Monday, March 2, 2009

Thinkin' Bout Granny... My Car, That Is.

So if you know me - you've probably seen or heard great stories about my car, "Granny".  She's a real beaut. haha (look no further, there she is in all her glory, below)
Well, Granny has fallen upon hard times. Its been ongoing for years, basically since before I ever inherited her. Recently she has been acting especially odd, though... dying at stoplights, clinking and dinging and leaking - but those are minor issues. I just fear her final days are at hand. So in honor (and possibly soon to be memory of) her I would like to share the quirkiness that makes Granny, Granny. 
The start of major issues in Colorado begun with that momentous picture above - the journey up  to Colorado, when Granny tried to take her own life by jumping off the Tow Dolly mid drive (and without our knowledge). Luckily, we caught her in the act and we able to rescue her from complete obliteration (of her or anyone behind us! Yikes!) She still has some pretty nasty scars from that day, but she's done me well and carried me from place to place, entertaining me with her latest antics - despite her own will to die. haha

So here is a pretty little list of quirks that only Granny can pull off with such grace:

-Transmission died (on the way to Benton with Britt jamming to Ashley Simpson) haha
-Alternator died (days before I left for Colorado - Thanks for fixing it Dad!)
-Passenger window rolls down, not UP. (therefore Granny's on window lock permanently!)
-Cracked windshield (rocks from a dump truck in front of me)
-Antenna replaced twice (no idea why- Dads doing)
-CD player just died one day - (cd's would jam and then it just stopped playing)
-Leak in the oil pan (fatal wound of falling off the tow dolly)
-Dent in transmission pan (same as above)
-Broken Axels on both front wheels (same as above, above)
-Dents in the side of the car (same as above, above, above) <- these issues actually cost more to fix than my car is worth!
-Serpentine belt is about to break (apparently)
-Interior dome light comes on and the car dings when i make right turns. (haha - NO idea why, but its now nicknamed the "cash cab")
-Battery died (from the Colorado cold)
-Front two tires dry rotted (?) causing one to go flat and both to be replaced. :(
-It honked at people randomly and then one day at work it honked continuously for about 3 minutes, causing lots of people to come out and see who was breaking in. haha (Granny has no voice now - Dad took out the horn- so look out!) 
-New Speakers cause they were blown out (I jam)
-You can't unlock the car with they key on the passenger side or else the alarm will go off. (the lights flash, and when she had a horn it would honk. ... No idea why she has an alarm anyways! They can take her!!)
-Something plastic underneath the front of the car hangs down - no idea what that is.
-When you open the hood, the bar that holds the hood up is no longer attached - we tried to tie it in with a zip tie with no luck ... one day its just gonna be gone and i'll have to hold it with one hand while i fill up the oil pan that leaks with the other. 

A few months ago, I filled up the oil tank before Topher and I went to run some errands. As we were driving I began to notice this huge cloud of smoke rising up behind and in front me. I looked around to see who it was coming from, when I realized it was GRANNY! I began to panic - not knowing what to expect. Were we about to blow up?! And what about Topher?! This was bad! I was freaking out and Topher was asking me what was wrong. I told him we were smoking really bad and I was scared and that we should pray. He kept saying "Its okay Nik, I'll take care of you!" (SO adorable!) We prayed out loud together as we hit EVERY stop light and watched as cars around us were backing up. haha When we finally got home I popped the hood and noticed I hadn't put the lid back on the oil pan!! It was splashing and spewing and burning up on the hot engine! It was a mess!! But miraculously - the lid was still resting on top! I cleaned it up and counted my blessing, and now NEVER forget to double check the lids! haha

So - I think my next mode of transportation should be a bike - no/low maintenance!

Donations welcome! ;)



Brittany McClain said...

hahaha! that was a TON of items you listed there sister! It all cracks me up, all i know is you'll be especially appreciative when you own a new car! :) I think a bike would be a good investment, or dad's baby truck?! Sadly enough it is better than your or my car...we both have stupendous cars :) Poor Granny, shes trying to hang tough...
LOVE YOU! see you in just a matter of weeks!

carozza said...

haha poor granny!
i would like to say i have been a part of the honking horn. thanks for letting me know you can't unlock it on the passenger side. i couldn't get the dang thing to turn off. poor k was freaking out and the whole of pickles and ice cream was looking at me like i was a freak. thanks for the memories! :) love you and can't wait for you to come home!